Thursday

Finding Effective Talking Skills For Fixing Relationship Trouble

By Nancy Nettles

When you are experiencing relationship trouble everything can seem like a huge mountain to climb, river to cross, and a heaping bag of coal to carry. It's tiring and it seems like it might cause you a little pain to work it out. The key to solving relationship issues is really learning how to successfully communicate for the betterment of your both. A rocky relationship that might not last can still offer you the chance to better yourself if you learn how to effectively communicate. Later, you will become a much better partner to either your current or future significant other.

Honesty is not so easy. Many of us spend a great deal of time lying to ourselves and therefore we can not always be honest with our significant other. When we aren't being honest we most often will blame them for the way we feel, regardless of whether we have ever felt this way before in our lives. Your partner is most likely nothing more than a catalyst to setting off your feelings on a topic.

One of the leading causes of relationship difficulties includes sexual intimacy. This can be a very difficult avenue for couples to explore and can easily ruin a relationship if it is not handled. There is almost always a different level of sexual interest for each partner. When one partner constantly values it and craves it much more than the other, problems arise.

When each partner values sex differently the likelihood that one partner feels slighted because there isn't enough of it is rather high. This can be a difficult issue to work out because it creates pressure. Nobody likes to feel pressured when it comes to sex. In order to talk about it without pressuring your partner you have to look at why you're so distressed over the issue.

Of course, there are plenty of other issues that can cause relationship trouble. In many cases financial, social, even parental issues can split a couple so far down the middle that getting back to common ground seems really difficult.

If you are looking for the easiest answer you would be told to enhance your ability to communicate effectively with your significant other. If you can do that your issues won't seem quite so large anymore. The hardest part of communicating honestly is really listening to the other person and not taking their statements as a personal attack.

You have to make sure that everyone stays responsible for how they feel and accountable for their own actions. Most of us know that someone who claims that an abused partner "made them do it" isn't taking responsibility for their own actions. It's no different if you yell, slam doors, become cruel, or go into the silent treatment. They aren't making you do it.

When we carry around a lot of basic junk with our relationship we tend to see a great deal more trouble. If we want to clean up our relationship trouble we need to do so with integrity and honesty and a sense of personal responsibility. With all due respect, a therapist counseling a couple is really like an honesty referee. Their job is to make sure that everyone remains accountable and learns to recognize their own accountability. This is most likely something you can learn to do yourself. - 26706

About the Author: