This scenario is not the stuff of fairy tales: you strike up an interesting conversation with someone via internet dating, go out a few times, think each other is fabulous and then bam! he or she is suddenly leaving a toothbrush at your place and telling you they were "worried" because they didn't hear from you the night before.
Say what? This is decidedly not fairy tale material. What is IS is a real life scenario. So what can you do when the person you're seeing is moving too quickly for comfort. How do you slow a relationship down without ending it?
1. Stop biting your tongue
It would seem that simply coming right out with it and telling the person you are seeing that it's just all moving too fast for comfort is the simplest solution. If you're like most people however, you would sooner end the relationship altogether than confront this issue head on.
There is the possibility that your new sweetie isn't moving crazy fast; they're just so into you and excited about the whole thing that they were swept up in the moment and got carried away A quick talk, in a non accusatory way, should jolt them back to reality and the recognition that the two of you are not on the same page.
2. Become less available
Some people, as much as they might feel their space being encroached on, will try to keep up with the advanced relationship pace the other person is setting, just to be nice (and after all, we're assuming that you're actually pretty into this person; otherwise, why go through all this trouble to figure this out?).
In some burgeoning relationships we're really into the person we're dating and we choose to ignore, at least for now, that the actual relationship is not compatible with our lifestyle and totally exceeds our comfort levels.
In order to slow things down to the point of comfort, you need to make yourself only as available as you are, no exceptions. That means if you have to work early tomorrow tell them you can't see them the night before.
Putting some distance between the two of you means no letting him or her tag along when you go out with friends. Soften the blow by telling them that this is something that in the future will be something you can do, but right now you just want to let things progress in private.
When they ask about that shelf in your closet or the key to your front door, and you're not ready for that, try to think of a smaller step that you are okay with. Unless you have the gift of the gab, a flat out no to these relationship yardsticks can be misinterpreted by your sweetie that you have no intention of ever going there. Offering up an alternative will leave you both happy. If not, see step 1. - 26706
Say what? This is decidedly not fairy tale material. What is IS is a real life scenario. So what can you do when the person you're seeing is moving too quickly for comfort. How do you slow a relationship down without ending it?
1. Stop biting your tongue
It would seem that simply coming right out with it and telling the person you are seeing that it's just all moving too fast for comfort is the simplest solution. If you're like most people however, you would sooner end the relationship altogether than confront this issue head on.
There is the possibility that your new sweetie isn't moving crazy fast; they're just so into you and excited about the whole thing that they were swept up in the moment and got carried away A quick talk, in a non accusatory way, should jolt them back to reality and the recognition that the two of you are not on the same page.
2. Become less available
Some people, as much as they might feel their space being encroached on, will try to keep up with the advanced relationship pace the other person is setting, just to be nice (and after all, we're assuming that you're actually pretty into this person; otherwise, why go through all this trouble to figure this out?).
In some burgeoning relationships we're really into the person we're dating and we choose to ignore, at least for now, that the actual relationship is not compatible with our lifestyle and totally exceeds our comfort levels.
In order to slow things down to the point of comfort, you need to make yourself only as available as you are, no exceptions. That means if you have to work early tomorrow tell them you can't see them the night before.
Putting some distance between the two of you means no letting him or her tag along when you go out with friends. Soften the blow by telling them that this is something that in the future will be something you can do, but right now you just want to let things progress in private.
When they ask about that shelf in your closet or the key to your front door, and you're not ready for that, try to think of a smaller step that you are okay with. Unless you have the gift of the gab, a flat out no to these relationship yardsticks can be misinterpreted by your sweetie that you have no intention of ever going there. Offering up an alternative will leave you both happy. If not, see step 1. - 26706
About the Author:
This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles.
